Stunts

Note to reader: what follows is a completely imaginary conversation.

MCCAIN: I am suspending my campaign! The nation is in turmoil and they need me in Washington!
OBAMA: uh . . . wha? . . . Huh?
MCCAIN: I call upon the powers of President Bush to arrange a very special meeting with myself and Mr. Obama.
OBAMA: What would we talk about?
MCCAIN: Fighting for the salvation America, of course!
OBAMA: Okay, let's get in our respective jets and fly back to Washington to issue a joint statement on the turmoil of the American economy.
MCCAIN: And we shall not rest until the fighting is over!
OBAMA: What about the debate?
MCCAIN: I told you, I am suspending my campaign.
OBAMA: Um, okay, but . . . here's the thing. We both have private jets. It's easy for me to run off to Washington and wrangle this silly press stunt of yours and still be in Florida by Friday for our first presidential debate.
MCCAIN: I will not rest until -
OBAMA: Look, John, you've got to be able to think about more than one thing at a time if you want to be president.
MCCAIN: No, we need utter focus in this time of emergency, just like on 9/11 when we all stepped accross party lines to create that wonderful piece of emergency legislation, The Patriot Act! That's a fine example of Americans working together! "A crisis calls for all hands on deck!"
OBAMA: What the hell does that mean? You and I have been campaigning for 2 years. We're not on any of the relavant committees at this point.
MCCAIN: (whispering) I'm not ready for the friggin debate, okay?!?!
OBAMA: I can't believe this sh#$.
MCCAIN: Sarah? Sarah, where are you? Everybody's looking at me!